One Two Combo: Chisme and Review

I slacked. I meant to review the Brook vs. Dan, Charlo vs. Martirosyan, and Russell vs. Gonzalez fights earlier this week but……I didn’t. (Oops.) So here they are today with a Chisme article at the end.

Kell Brook vs. Jo Jo Dan

In honor of this being the first fight I’ve ever seen broadcast from England I decided at first to write this in the style of a Bridget Jones diary entry, but that turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated so y’all are stuck with the ugly American version. First and foremost, I (and I’m sure most of the world) was taken aback when I noticed that Michael Buffer was wearing glasses.  In the five-ish years that I’ve been a boxing fan, I’ve never seen the man sport eyewear. And here’s further proof:

IMG_0233

(See? This picture was taken in 2014. NO GLASSES.) One can only assume that he was trying to look extra distinguished since he was in England. Or that he left his contacts at home.

Also noteworthy was the fact that the bell signaling the beginning and end of the rounds sounded different and more like an alarm than what I’ve become used to. But by far, my very favourite (see what I did there) difference between British and American live boxing was the announcer AND THE ENTIRE CROWD counting to ten after a boxer (let’s be real-after Dan) was knocked down. What a fun thing to do. And what an amazing idea for a drinking game. Next fight in England I see, I’m drinking for the duration of the counting. (Always good to have a plan, kids).

Now, on to the actual boxing.  Dan was absolutely outclassed by Brook.  It was almost as if it was a one-sided fight. At one point in the third round (I believe), one of the announcers described it as being akin to “target practice” for Brook, and I couldn’t agree more. Dan couldn’t handle Brooks straight right or his uppercut, and aside from the first round spent a fair amount of time wobbling on his legs or hugging the canvas. (And then he started in with a move that is not unlike something my dog does-he kept leading with his head. Weird). One of the lines in the notes I took for this post says, “Has this guy won any rounds?” (Answer: Nope). The fourth round stoppage by Dan’s corner was a smart move, as he couldn’t have endured any more.

And then came Brook’s call out of Khan-Rios (WTF)-Marquez for a June fight, finally settling on a call out of Khan in what was one of the best uses of the English language ever, including pointing out Khan’s “delicate whiskers” and the fact that there is no viable opponent for a June 13th fight. Did Khan take the bait? See below in Chisme for more. (Cliffhanger…)

Jermell Charlo vs. Vanes Martirosyan

My favorite thing about Jermell Charlo is that his twin’s name is Jermall. And that they wore matching trunks (WITH THE TEXAS FLAG ON THEM!!) for this fight. Delightful. My favorite thing about Vanes “The Nightmare” Martirosyan is that his eyebrows live up to his boxing nickname. This was an excellent match up, all kidding aside. Although the pace wasn’t overly quick or exciting and it lacked any real stand out moments (aside from the “accidental clash of heads” in Round 8), it was an interesting and engaging fight nonetheless. I don’t agree with the decision being given to Charlo (which says a lot, y’all, since he’s a Texan), as I believe that Martirosyan won that fight, but it was a fun fight to watch and both boxers performed wonderfully. I’d love to see a rematch.

Russell vs. Gonzalez

This is probably going to be about as quick as the fight was. Russell performed immaculately in this bout, and totally outclassed Gonzalez. I’d only seen Russell fight once before this (against Lomachenko) and I was glad that more of his talent was showcased in this fight. Russell is lightning-quick and an extremelly intelligent fighter. I really enjoyed waching him work. Gonzalez was no match for him, and after three knockdowns the third and fourth round it was all over.

Nonito Donaire vs. That other guy

I didn’t actually watch this, becuase it wasn’t being broadcast in the US and I wasn’t anywhere near desperate enough to find it online to stream, but Donaire won in what was a two round shutout. There may be hope for the little guy yet.

Chisme

After offering a “winner takes all” sort of bout to Kell Brook (which he accepted) where, well, the winner would take all of the money and the loser would, um, lose, Amir Khan dodged even a Broner call out and decided to fight Chris fucking Algieri instead. For those of you who don’t know who Algieri is (which is probably all of you), he’s the guy who was gifted a win over Provodnikov (IMO) and then went on to taste the canvas during damn near every round against Pacquaio last winter. Ridiculous. As a result, I’ve officially renounced my fanship of Amir Khan. (But I haven’t unfollowed him on Instagram yet, because he takes really fun pictures). I’m not going to become the person who says “I’m so mad that I’m not watching this fight” because I will, but I refuse to enjoy it (which is really just a by-product of the matchup. Who besides Algieri’s brother and Khan’s family could actually enjoy this fight?!)

Floyd reported that he’s not going to trash talk Manny because he’s wiser now, but I’m pretty sure his dad will take care of all of that mess for him.

Manny is closing the gym to the public on April 15 because he needs to focus.

Ali allegedly picked Manny to win, but later stated that this isn’t true and he hasn’t actually made a prediction yet.

Floyd’s odds have reportedly shrunk to-180 at a Vegas sportsbook because some very rich dude placed two $50k bets on Manny. Two things I don’t understand about this: 1). How this whole betting thing works, and 2). Why wasn’t it reported as “Rich guy bets $100k on Manny” instead of “Two $50k bets.”

And that’s about it, y’all. No more slacking next time. And we’re getting closer and closer to the big day, so that’s something to keep you awake in anticipation about.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s