Inside the Mind of Brandon Rios

This post could just as easily be called “What’s Going on in Brandon Rios’s Head Aside from Heavy Rotation of the Word ‘Fuck’”?

Last week brought with it the news of a bout between Danny Garcia and Brandon Rios, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. This is mostly due to my love of Rios, but also largely in part to my deep dislike of Danny Garcia. (Warning: For some reason, I’m unable to refer to Danny Garcia as anything other than his full name or an expletive, both of which will probably make their presence known here. Also-trigger warning-Angel Garcia is mentioned, in case you need a toilet or trash can nearby for the impending violent dry heaving that is sure to occur upon the mere mention of his name. On second thought, just read this entire piece while either on or near a toilet.) I also just enjoy watching Rios in all his unhinged glory, and the first Rios vs. Alvarado fight will remain one of my all time favorites.

I’m elated over this fight for two reasons: 1.) From what I’ve seen of Danny Garcia (which isn’t much, because refer back to the first paragraph where I talk about how I can’t stand him) he’s not a very interesting fighter. Yes, he pushes the gas pedal when necessary and one really can’t deny his talent (I’ve tried), but I’ve yet to see anything too impressive in the way of an all out, toe-to-to brawl; and 2.) Rios is batshit crazy, and I mean that in a good way. One of things I find most intriguing about Rios is that the guy smiles everytime he’s punched in the face, and  I’m not sure Danny Garcia will know how to handle that.  (To be fair, I’m also not sure that anyone save for a trained professional knows how to deal with that.) 

It’s not the smile itself that mystifies me, but what the smile represents-an absolute, all out war mentality with a fuck-you-I’m-not-quitting attitude.  That, or Rios is just thinking about when he’s going to get his next scoop of Baskin Robbins. Either way, join me below as I delve deeper into the elusive meaning of the smile behind the punch. 

1. Ice Cream

Who doesn’t smile when they think of ice cream? (Aside from vegans and the lactose intolerant, and even then they’ve taken it upon themselves to invent lactose-free and soy ice cream, so my point still stands.)   The mere thought of Rocky Road has evoked mirth in even the most stoic of humans, and the Dalai Lama himself once said “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in the room.” Granted, this has nothing to do with ice cream, but when I googled “Quotes about Ice Cream from Major World Leaders” it was either this or some quote from Steve Jobs that isn’t nearly as cool. (Ha. Ha.)

Anyway, ice cream can move mountains and solve the problems of the people, both big and small, and for that it’s deserving of a a smirk at the very least.  Ice cream brings people together, and  I’m pretty sure I even know Rios’s favorite flavor:

                                                                   Stop shaking your head, we all saw this coming.

2. Dogs

 Everyone loves dogs, even those who say they’re allergic or claim to be immune to the charming powers of the canine.   While I can’t be absolutely certain what kind of dog Rios is thinking of while grinning (and I hope like hell it isn’t a chihuahua), I’m sure that some lucky pooch somewhere has captured his heart-and yes-his smile. 


                                 This isn’t Rios’s dog. This is my dog, who is clearly not a Golovkin fan.
3. Trick-or-Treating

Training camp be damned, Halloween is coming up and Rios has kids. Trick-or-treating is a rite of passage for all children, teenagers, and those few lucky adults over the age of 23 who are the same height as a fifth grader and are acting as the chaperone for their 10 year old niece.  ‘Tis the season for Kit Kat, Butterfinger, and those really cool Reese’s pumpkins as it truly is the most wonderful time of the year.  Besides, even if he has no interest in candy he can still sport a badass costume. (But never one of those lame t-shirts that says “This is my Costume,” only derelicts and Pennywise [not the band] wear those. )

                                                               Someone gave Danny Garcia a rock 😦  
4. The Smell of a New Book

I’m not sure how one would  physically carry this out, but take all of your previous notions and pre-formed ideas about traditionally good smelling things and get rid of them (probably a good idea to do this on a bulky item collection day), because friends, few smells induce a smile like the smell of a new book.  Although his image might suggest otherwise, Rios could secretly be a bibliophile of massive proportions, hell-bent on sustaining the image of a shorter, lighter, foul-mouthed modern-day Rocky.

Picture this, if you will: An obviously tired Rios, exhausted and spent after a long day of training, collapses into a red leather arm chair with a hardback tome. Possibly “War and Peace,” or perhaps the ninth installation in the Harry Potter series, whose title I can’t remember but which was long as fuck and really intimidating looking at first glance.  


                                       Not buying it? Me either, but here’s a picture of a book anyway.
5. (And most likely): Beating the Shit out of Angel Garcia
When you really think about it, this makes either the least amount of sense or the most amount of sense. While it’s somewhat likely that in truth Brandon was never thinking of beating up Angel Garcia until quite recently, it is far MORE likely that he’s really been pondering the idea since he was in the womb.  Because surely, deep down inside all of us there’s a tiny, sweet piece of something that yearns for the day when Angel Garcia will get caught by the cheapest of shots as a consequence for his annoying and ever present running mouth. 

And who better to deliver this shot than Rios himself? It’s almost as if Brandon were privy to the knowledge that Angel Garcia was destined to become a douchebag of immense proportions before Angel Garcia came to fulfill this prophecy. And Rios, being the gift from God that he is (along with breakfast tacos) was sent from the spiritual world to the physical in order to vanquish this, our true mortal enemy.  But not, like, kill him or anything. Just shut him up for a minute.  With his fists.

 (Those are either boxing gloves or Rios is suffering from the same affliction as Evan Peters on “AHS: Freak Show.” Also, here I’ve            reduced Brandon’s communication skills to that of a Pokemon.)

I’ll continue to hope that Angel Garcia will someday stop talking (thought not as a result of any bodily or neurological harm and by choice only ) on Twitter at @littlejenna37 or at junkinthetrunks37@gmail.com

                                                                         

Advertisements

Why Rousey vs. Mayweather Will Never Happen

In the words of the immortal Tone Loc, “let’s do this.”

Unless you’ve been hiding from Bleacher Report or Facebook for the past month, you’ve undoubtedly heard in some form or fashion about the “beef” that’s been occurring between Ronda Rousey and Floyd Mayweather. (“Beef” is in quotes, btw, because it really seems like this is just Ronda being an attention whore and that Floyd is metaphorically swatting away the annoying fly without truly being all that angered toward her.) I really want this to go away, but I’ve also found that I apparently have strong feelings about this that just won’t quit; and as the old saying goes: “Those who can do, those who can’t teach, and the rest blog.” Or something like that.

First of all, there is no way in hell that Floyd or Floyd’s people (read: Al Haymon) would ever allow him to do this. This would be a PR nightmare for all involved. It doesn’t require exceptional mental prowess to understand that pitting a man convicted of domestic violence against his ex-baby mama in a ring with the intent to fight a woman is a bad idea. Period. And even if all of the VIPs in Floyd’s camp (read: Al Haymon) suffered a giant lapse in judgment, there isn’t a sanctioning body in the nation that would allow this fight to occur, BECAUSE IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. (Not even Texas, which is saying a lot. Of course, if the potential bout was JCC Jr. or Canelo vs. Rousey, Texas would be all over it. And Jr. or Canelo would win before even arriving at the arena. That’s just how we roll down here).

If, hypothetically, this fight were agreed upon by all parties, magically obtained a sanctioning body, and was actually going to happen, the next roadblock would be figuring out what type of fight it would be: MMA vs. boxing.  Before I go any further, I’d like to take a second to recognize the legion of rhinestone studded Affliction t-shirt wearing masses who have leapt at the opportunity to point out that “Ronda would kick Floyd’s ass in an MMA fight!” You’re probably right. (Take a screenshot of this, folks, and save it forever as it’s more than likely the only time that I’ll acknowledge and/or agree with MMA fans.) But it doesn’t matter, because I guarantee that this would be a boxing match.  And here’s why:

Yes, Ronda has become a nationally (internationally?) recognized phenom in MMA. Rightfully so. This chick has worked her ass off and earned her place at the top. She’s a beast. But she’s no Mayweather. She lacks the star power, notoriety, (love him or hate him, you’re still watching his fights, and if you say that you aren’t, you’re lying. The same can’t be said for Rousey.)and most importantly the money (TMT shoutout!) that is associated with a Mayweather fight. This man generates millions upon millions of dollars in ticket sales alone, not even counting what he makes in PPV sales, merch sales, or money from “All Access.” And as we all know, the dollar always wins.  I’m not saying that there wouldn’t be a multitude of arguments and contract negotiations between the two camps, because there would be. But Floyd would win in the end, because if he didn’t get his way, he would walk. And the whole thing would be just another pipe dream. (Hopefully much like Margarito’s recent push to get back into the ring, which would definitely be sanctioned by Texas.)

I would say that weight class would be an issue, but more than likely they would just fight under an agreed upon catchweight (which fight fans just LOVE but would be a necessary evil in this case) with a rehydration clause. I just felt like I should address it because I wrote “Weight Class???” as a potential barrier in my notes.

All jest aside, though, there lies a much bigger and important issue at stake here: feminism-to an extent, anyway.  (Bye, male readers! Thanks for sticking around for the first half!) As I’ve previously mentioned, Rousey’s is a household name now, and her fame and accolades are certainly well deserved. She’s become a hero to young girls, which is something I find appropriate. As someone who isn’t even an MMA fan, I have a lot of respect for her because she’s become such a prominent figure in a male-driven sport, and I wholeheartedly agree that her status as a mentor is appropriate. With all of that being said, does she really want to encourage to the girls who idolize her the idea that it’s okay for a guy to hit you (because let’s be real, Floyd would get a few hits in) if you’re being paid for it? Because that’s kind of the message that she’s sending. 

There’s also the fact that she hangs out with Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist. Regardless of your feelings about Iron Mike, the fact remains that he WAS convicted and served time. Much like Floyd WAS convicted and served time for his wrongdoings as well. Both men have multiple crimes against women under their respective belts (no pun intended), and although these crimes differ in nature they are very much equals in that respect. Why, then, is there no call to arms against Mike circulating various social media platforms? Eye for an eye, right? At least, that seems to be the antequated notion she’s operating under.  Maybe because that fight just wouldn’t be as lucrative. 

At any rate, I truly do hope that this nonsense is over now.  Because a marriage between these two sports (even if only for a night) is a bastardization that I just can’t handle. After all, I don’t even own a Bedazzler. 

Review: Mayweather v Pacquiao

Seriously, you know you’ve been in Vegas for four days when you’re dying to eat a vegetable the second you get home.

The “Fight of the Century” has come and gone, and contrary to popular belief (or much to the dismay of some, depending on what side of the fence you’re on) boxing is, in fact, not dead. Rather, it’s been revitalized with new interest, even if that interest was purely in a superfight that failed to live up to it’s hype.  And no matter your opinion on the actual fight itself (or the personal lives of the pugilists), you have to admit that it’s fun to get this wrapped up in something bigger than all of us; it makes the days exciting and (sometimes) the letdown afterward that much harder. But it also reminds us how much fun it can be to live in a moment, if even only for a little while. Enough with this sentimental stuff, though….

I WAS IN VEGAS, Y’ALL!!!

Not being a baller and all, I couldn’t afford tickets to the actual fight itself, but I was lucky enough to be able to attend the weigh in and an amazing closed circuit watch party (which turned out to be VIP for the price of a regular ticket, thanks to a mix up) and had the absolute time of my life.

IMG_0345_2

My wristband to get into the party. It was sparkly, and it guaranteed free drinks, so this     girl was happy. 

Surprisingly, I learned a lot while in Vegas. I learned that I’m terrible at Black Jack or Roulette, but awesome at War. I learned that when you’re in Vegas, Carl Froch can be innocently walking behind you for quite some time at the Grand and you won’t even realize it until someone yells his name. (I also learned that my fangirl tendencies aren’t limited to titles on this blog-sometimes I inadvertantly also yell “AAAAHHHH!!!!” after taking a picture with a famous boxer while running back to my husband. I like to play it cool.) And finally (possibly most important) I learned how crucial it is to carry a bag large enough to hold a pair of flip flops if you’re going all out on fight night. (You’re welcome, ladies. And men. I don’t judge.)

IMG_0349

These were the bane of my existence after about three hours

I could go on and on about how incredible Vegas is, but I know that ain’t what y’all came here for. On to the review!

Vasyl Lomachenko vs. Gamalier Rodriguez

This fight confirmed what most of us already thought would happen: simply put, that Rodriguez got his ass handed to him by Lomachenko in a bad, bad way. Although not unwilling to engage (mostly low blows, however), Rodriguez was just no match for the Olympian. After several calls for illegal hits (one of those being Lomachenko’s retaliation low blow), Rodriguez took two knees, with the final being in the ninth round where he stayed for the 10 count, ending in a KO for Lomachenko.  At first glance, I thought that Rodriguez was just giving up, but after watching a couple of replays, it was easy to see that he was shaken and pretty hurt.

Despite this being a wholly one-sided fight, I was really impressed with Lomachenko’s performance (and his first name-if I ever have a kid {so, never} it’s name will be Vasyl. Boy or girl, I don’t care.) He’s still pretty early on in his career, and I’m really excited to see what the future will hold for him. I’m expecting greatness from this one, but I’m also horrible with my predictions so it can’t be held against me if I’m wrong.

Leo Santa Cruz vs. Jose Cayetano

Before I start in with this, I need y’all to know that I’m quite possibly (especially after this performance), the last remaining LSC fan in the greater United States. (Aside from any family or womens that LSC may have here, but that should go without saying.) And my well thought out, purely based on performance and style reasoning for liking LSC so much is this: he seems like a funny guy who enjoys his job and he wore a big cowboy hat after he fought here in San Antonio. Boom.

However; his performance on Saturday night was not his best, and I was actually very, very impressed with the heart and determination showcased by Cayetano in this fight.  Cayetano was a late addition to the fight and wasn’t officially made an opponent until the end of April, giving him little time to prepare for a bout of this magnitude, especially since he still works two day jobs. (Again, LOTS of heart. I can’t even be bothered to go to the gym after working one job.) He was also coming off of a record of two previous losses in 10 round fights, so not the best setup, either. This had all the makings of a stepping stone fight that I daresay wasn’t as easy for LSC as we all thought it would have been. (In terms of going the distance, I mean.)

The fight went all 10 rounds and ended in a Unanimous Decision for LSC, but it was a fun 10 rounder to watch, IMO.  As previously mentioned, Cayetano absolutely refused to quit, was moving around the ring well, and was a good little counterpuncher, too, at least for the first few rounds. LSC pretty much had him figured out by mid-fight.  He also seemed to handle LSC’s blows (huh, huh) with relative ease.  But in the end, LSC dominated the kid, although I’m not too sure what this says about him. It was an easy fight for LSC, as was the original intent (I’m sure), and I’d like to see better from him in the future.

But this is one of my favorite things about boxing. For all intents and purposes, they plucked a boxer out of nothingness, gave him a HUGE opportunity, and he made it worth his while. True, he didn’t show us absolute greatness or looming strength, but he went the distance and persisted during a fight billed to be the greatest of our time (well, my time anyway. Not sure how old the rest of y’all are 🙂 ), which had to have been an incredibly daunting task. Had this not happened, I’d know nothing of Cayetano, and now I’m looking forward to his next fight, whenever that may be. (Could be quite a while before he ends up on TV again, though, but still.)

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Seriously y’all, never in a million years did I think that I would be typing that (unless it ended with the phrase, “will never happen”), so just the fact that it occurred at all still has me amped, regardless of how one feels about the actual match. By this time, I’m relatively certain that most of the world knows how this fight ended, but if for some reason you haven’t yet heard (or you don’t want spoilers) stop reading now. (But come back later, I need the “Views” on my stat count).

Also (disclaimer), I’m neither a Pactard nor a Flomo and thoroughly enjoy both fighters, so this will be an unbiased account of this fight (even though I’m sure that some of you will disagree. Kisses.)

IMG_0346

And for the Pac “Truthers,” here’s proof of the aforementioned statement. Yes, I bet with my heart and not my brain. My big baller $20 bet on Pac getting the KO over Mayweather.

Y’all, Floyd put on a boxing clinic on Saturday night, and it was both parts amazing and crushing all at once. To see a boxer adapt to another fighter’s style so quickly and easily is truly the mark of greatness. This statement will not be backed by popular opinion (hell, this whole review probaby won’t), but Manny truly did give it his all, and he just couldn’t make it happen. It’s a tired cliche, but the greats make it look easy, and I think that Manny realized this after a few rounds with Floyd.

And as for the hotly contested “Floyd Ran, Floyd Hugged” debate, those of you who are saying that don’t know boxing. Period. Floyd threw and landed more punches than Manny, and more clinching went on during the Klitschko fight a couple of weeks ago (and really, every other recent Klitschko fight in recent years) than during this one. As for the running argument, Manny knew well in advance (assuming that he watched tape from Floyd’s last fights, which I would imagine that he did) that it would be VERY advantageous to him to cut off the ring in order to ensure that Floyd would have to go toe to toe with him (which was really the only way that he could win the fight in the first place) and he failed to do so.

This was Manny’s loss, fair and square. I hate to say it, because I truly do like the guy and enjoy his performances, but he simply was not the better boxer this time around. This had nothing to do with the ref or the judges, and everything to do with Manny being one-dimensional in this fight and not having a Plan B, something that would have been expected of an elite pugilist going into what was the biggest fight of his life.

Annnnnddd…on to “Shoulder Gate.” Of course, instead of just being able to say “I lost,” we get a story about Manny having a torn rotator cuff, which seems to be true the more it plays out. All fine and good, and I hope that Manny is able to heal well and continue to impress us after his surgery.

BUT

Why did this go completely unmentioned until after the fight was said and done? Yes, had Manny’s shoulder been unharmed, this could have impacted the fight in a way. However; there were plenty of opportunities for him to announce this injury, and it wasn’t even mentioned on the pre-fight questionnaire, a document that explicitly asks if the boxer currently has a shoulder injury. Also, according to Bleacher Report, the shoulder injury was the catalyst for impairing Manny to the extent that he was unable to spar for WEEKS leading up to the fight. Weeks, people. (And I ain’t talking Tony.)

I completely understand the hesitance to call off a super-giant-megafight that was a huge pain in the butt to negotiate in the first place, (not to mention the on/off relationship of this fight to begin with) but really? If a boxer can’t throw punches because of a torn rotator cuff, what else is there to do?  (I mean, I would have been pissed and all, but still.)

And then? This:

IMG_0522

Via a text to Stephen Smith, no less. That’s how I want to negotiate big deals. And is he just fighting the shoulder, or all of Manny?  Because truly, it’s really only the shoulder that deserves a second chance. 

The circus starts all over again. Although probably not for as much money next time around. If this even happens, after all. It could take another six years.

In closing, for those of you who wanted an all out war (which, save an outstanding performance by Manny was never going to happen anyway), “Meet Mago.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/04/sports/meet-mago-former-heavyweight.html?_r=0

An outstanding NY Times article on Magomed Abdusalamov, a former heavyweight

These are the consequences of the brawls that the causal fans and the knockout salivaters seek. You can also look to Muhammed Ali and Freddie Roach for concrete examples of long-term boxing related injuries. As much as you may hate to admit it, boxing is just as much a sport of hitting and not being hit as it is anything else. The sweet science is the art of boxing, and what makes it equally as fun to watch as an all out brawl.

Long rant over. Be on the lookout for Canelo v Kirkland this Saturday, y’all, which should be a lot of fun. Also, HBO will be replaying the May v Pac fight prior to the broadcast of the Canelo fight, for anyone who would like a second view.

Stay safe, peeps. And thanks for hanging in there during the rant 🙂

One Two Combo: Chisme and Review

I slacked. I meant to review the Brook vs. Dan, Charlo vs. Martirosyan, and Russell vs. Gonzalez fights earlier this week but……I didn’t. (Oops.) So here they are today with a Chisme article at the end.

Kell Brook vs. Jo Jo Dan

In honor of this being the first fight I’ve ever seen broadcast from England I decided at first to write this in the style of a Bridget Jones diary entry, but that turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated so y’all are stuck with the ugly American version. First and foremost, I (and I’m sure most of the world) was taken aback when I noticed that Michael Buffer was wearing glasses.  In the five-ish years that I’ve been a boxing fan, I’ve never seen the man sport eyewear. And here’s further proof:

IMG_0233

(See? This picture was taken in 2014. NO GLASSES.) One can only assume that he was trying to look extra distinguished since he was in England. Or that he left his contacts at home.

Also noteworthy was the fact that the bell signaling the beginning and end of the rounds sounded different and more like an alarm than what I’ve become used to. But by far, my very favourite (see what I did there) difference between British and American live boxing was the announcer AND THE ENTIRE CROWD counting to ten after a boxer (let’s be real-after Dan) was knocked down. What a fun thing to do. And what an amazing idea for a drinking game. Next fight in England I see, I’m drinking for the duration of the counting. (Always good to have a plan, kids).

Now, on to the actual boxing.  Dan was absolutely outclassed by Brook.  It was almost as if it was a one-sided fight. At one point in the third round (I believe), one of the announcers described it as being akin to “target practice” for Brook, and I couldn’t agree more. Dan couldn’t handle Brooks straight right or his uppercut, and aside from the first round spent a fair amount of time wobbling on his legs or hugging the canvas. (And then he started in with a move that is not unlike something my dog does-he kept leading with his head. Weird). One of the lines in the notes I took for this post says, “Has this guy won any rounds?” (Answer: Nope). The fourth round stoppage by Dan’s corner was a smart move, as he couldn’t have endured any more.

And then came Brook’s call out of Khan-Rios (WTF)-Marquez for a June fight, finally settling on a call out of Khan in what was one of the best uses of the English language ever, including pointing out Khan’s “delicate whiskers” and the fact that there is no viable opponent for a June 13th fight. Did Khan take the bait? See below in Chisme for more. (Cliffhanger…)

Jermell Charlo vs. Vanes Martirosyan

My favorite thing about Jermell Charlo is that his twin’s name is Jermall. And that they wore matching trunks (WITH THE TEXAS FLAG ON THEM!!) for this fight. Delightful. My favorite thing about Vanes “The Nightmare” Martirosyan is that his eyebrows live up to his boxing nickname. This was an excellent match up, all kidding aside. Although the pace wasn’t overly quick or exciting and it lacked any real stand out moments (aside from the “accidental clash of heads” in Round 8), it was an interesting and engaging fight nonetheless. I don’t agree with the decision being given to Charlo (which says a lot, y’all, since he’s a Texan), as I believe that Martirosyan won that fight, but it was a fun fight to watch and both boxers performed wonderfully. I’d love to see a rematch.

Russell vs. Gonzalez

This is probably going to be about as quick as the fight was. Russell performed immaculately in this bout, and totally outclassed Gonzalez. I’d only seen Russell fight once before this (against Lomachenko) and I was glad that more of his talent was showcased in this fight. Russell is lightning-quick and an extremelly intelligent fighter. I really enjoyed waching him work. Gonzalez was no match for him, and after three knockdowns the third and fourth round it was all over.

Nonito Donaire vs. That other guy

I didn’t actually watch this, becuase it wasn’t being broadcast in the US and I wasn’t anywhere near desperate enough to find it online to stream, but Donaire won in what was a two round shutout. There may be hope for the little guy yet.

Chisme

After offering a “winner takes all” sort of bout to Kell Brook (which he accepted) where, well, the winner would take all of the money and the loser would, um, lose, Amir Khan dodged even a Broner call out and decided to fight Chris fucking Algieri instead. For those of you who don’t know who Algieri is (which is probably all of you), he’s the guy who was gifted a win over Provodnikov (IMO) and then went on to taste the canvas during damn near every round against Pacquaio last winter. Ridiculous. As a result, I’ve officially renounced my fanship of Amir Khan. (But I haven’t unfollowed him on Instagram yet, because he takes really fun pictures). I’m not going to become the person who says “I’m so mad that I’m not watching this fight” because I will, but I refuse to enjoy it (which is really just a by-product of the matchup. Who besides Algieri’s brother and Khan’s family could actually enjoy this fight?!)

Floyd reported that he’s not going to trash talk Manny because he’s wiser now, but I’m pretty sure his dad will take care of all of that mess for him.

Manny is closing the gym to the public on April 15 because he needs to focus.

Ali allegedly picked Manny to win, but later stated that this isn’t true and he hasn’t actually made a prediction yet.

Floyd’s odds have reportedly shrunk to-180 at a Vegas sportsbook because some very rich dude placed two $50k bets on Manny. Two things I don’t understand about this: 1). How this whole betting thing works, and 2). Why wasn’t it reported as “Rich guy bets $100k on Manny” instead of “Two $50k bets.”

And that’s about it, y’all. No more slacking next time. And we’re getting closer and closer to the big day, so that’s something to keep you awake in anticipation about.

Gab: This Week in Boxing Chisme

Amid all of the boxing headlines from this week, I would be remiss in not mentioning that time that Floyd Mayweather broke the Internet with this picture: IMG_0214

Pactards chided him for this, stating that taking to the harsh Nevada wildnerness and doing some good old fashioned tree killing was a sign that he was intimidated by Manny. Flomos defended the champ, positing that this is a variation of a common boxing workout using a sledgehammer and a big ass tire. I’m aligned with most probable theory: that Floyd was doing this (and really every other aspect of his life) for attention. Who knows if this is the first time he’s done this and really, who cares?  I’m actually more upset that no one mentioned the fuzzy red ball on top of his TMT hat.

Also noteworthy this week is the mention that Floyd is refusing to agree to terms of a $5 million dollar fine for positive blood and urine tests in the upcoming months preceding the May 2 fight, a clause set forth by Pacquaio’s camp. This is kind of ironic, really, as it was Manny who initially refused the drug testing when the notion of the fight was first conceived six years ago (allegedly). This is also a contradictory move for Floyd, who has been kind of a pit bull for drug testing regulations. Both champs have reportedly already been tested recently, so I guess speculations could arise as to why he’s not agreed to a fine in the event of a positive result if he’s already complied with the testing. Of course, Bob Arum is doing what he does best in talking out of his ass in regards to demanding more money for a positive drug result, but we’ll see how far that actually gets.

“Ugh, y’all”. That’s what I have to say about this nonsense: IMG_0215

While I’m all for charity and I like the idea of Mitt Romney being knocked out; really, was Vitali Klitschko busy that day? Now THAT would be a fight. (And, you know, politician on politician).

Gennady Golovkin still wants to fight Miguel Cotto, and Miguel Cotto (and possibly Freddie Roach) are still running scared. I think I speak for the majority when I say that this fight will probably never happen, although I would love to be wrong. If it ever did happen, though, GGG would dominate Cotto (even in his new reincarnation as a “raging bull”) and with Cotto’s talk of impending retirement in the near future I doubt that’s how he’d like to go out.

Until next time, friends.