Beaches and Boxers

If you ask me on any regular day if my job is fulfilling, I’d probably say yes. Ask me the question during “Shark Week,” though, and it’s a hard no. A definite “naw.” A “fuck no,” even. Because during “Shark Week” no job is cooler than that of the adventurous, ginormous balls-of-steel possessing (or for women, like, tons-of-courage-having) shark researcher, underwater cameraman, or conservationist. Their “office” is the open sea and their co-workers are some of the most feared and misunderstood creatures on the planet.

(This might be true of your co-workers as well but it’s still nowhere near as cool).

There are definite similarities between the behavior of sharks and boxers, and it’s hard to tell which came first: Do boxers mirror the circular attack style of sharks about to demolish their prey after years of observing their successful tactics in the wild? Or do sharks mirror the circular attack style of boxers after a friend of theirs somehow rigged up an underwater television and they were able to score a decent stream for a Tyson fight years ago? The eternal question still unanswered, indeed.

Just as there are similarities between the fighting styles of sharks and boxers, the personality styles of boxers and marine/marine-related life in general tend to parallel each other as well. Certain types of sharks possess more aggressive tendencies toward humans than others, as certain boxers fight more offensively than others. Sharks migrate often, just as boxers travel often for fights. And some sharks are even banned from entering American waters due to (alleged) tax evasion charges. There exists cute and endearing marine life and some….that you just want to stay away from.

Angel Garcia in any form is something I’d like to avoid, and if I had to choose an animal adaptation for him it’d definitely be a seagull. He’s loud, annoying, and relentlessly tries to steal your food. Also, a seagull would absolutely frequent strip clubs with it’s offspring and revel in making it rain together.

(Fig. 1. A candid photo of Angel Garcia in the wild)

Teofimo Lopez is the seal of the boxing world. On a recent episode of the podcast “In This Corner,” when asked if his antics at the end of his fights are a celebration for himself or to entertain the audience, Lopez unabashedly confirmed that he likes to put on a show for the crowd. Although I’ve yet to see a seal do the dance from “Fortnight,” both Lopez and seals remain undefeated in their respective flip games.

Ever seen those fish that attach themselves to a larger shark or whale host to survive? Those are called remoras, and I can think of no one in the boxing community who better encompasses the remora than Gervonta Davis and Adrien Broner. Talent and effort notwithstanding, these two definitely wouldn’t have gotten as far as they did without (unsurprisingly) exemplifying everything bad about the Mayweather Promotions image.

(Fig. 2. There’s really no explanation needed here)

The Mako shark and Naoya Inoue are both fast, sleek, and aggressive toward humans when provoked. They both have names that start with the letter “M.” And if ever there were a shark that was edgy enough to pull off the orange-y hue that comes as a result of bleaching jet black hair, it’s the Mako.

I’ve been thinking for days about who could possibly compare to the greatest and most majestic sea creature in existence, the whale shark. True to it’s name, this shark is ginormous, beautiful, and extremely chill, and can be found swimming around with a wide open mouth catching krill. I’m not sure how he feels about krill and I’ve yet to see him walk around with his mouth constantly open, but this definitely reminds me of Anthony Joshua, also known for his majestic stature and undeniable good looks.


(Fig 3. Spot on, v. good depiction of a whale shark)

Manny Pacquaio reminds me of an octopus, because even though he does’t ACTUALLY have eight arms, he punches so fast that sometimes things get a little blurry and it looks like he does. Plus, octopuses are the politicians of the sea. Everyone knows that.

I’ve compared this next boxer to a shark in a previous post, but would like to officially recant that statement as he’s the one thing in existence that’s scarier than a shark, and that is the creepy eye-roll thing that sharks do when when they get close to a camera on “Shark Week” (and maybe at other times as well, but there’s no documented proof of this.) Congratulations, Sergey Kovalev, on being the walking, full-bodied adaptation of nightmare-inducing terror.

(Side note: Do y’all think girl sharks are like “bitch, why are you rolling your eyes at me?!” whenever that happens. And do shark parents tell their shark children that if they keep rolling their eyes like that they’ll get stuck that way? Ideas to pitch to Discovery for next year.)

Twitter: @littlejenna37

The Filipino Man and the Sea

*Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor and lack any degrees associated with the medical field. Which is a moot point in this case, because you don’t have to be an MD to know that this story is complete and utter bullshit.

For those of you who haven’t heard the latest and greatest in the saga of Manny and the torn rotator cuff, you’ll be happy to learn that he’s been fully healed. “But Jenna,” you might be saying “I heard/read/was told by my neighborhood Pactard that Manny was neglecting to go to rehab in LA. Did he go to rehab in the Phillippines instead?” And to you I say no, dear reader. To my knowledge, as of this day our favorite Filipino fighter remains with his feet steadfastly grounded on the subject of rehab. Because he’s got something better:

God and the ocean.

That’s right. Several boxing news sources revealed late last week that Pac-man himself reported his shoulder has been completely healed through prayer and swimming in the salty sea.  And the never ending supply of Yes Men in his camp have (of course) totally gone along with this nonsense, also attributing Pac’s miraculous turnaround to his faith and devotion to God and the healing properties of saltwater. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. 

Couple of problems with this, guys (and gals-no misogyny up in here): First of all (again, no medical background), wouldn’t it be extremely painful and difficult to breaststroke with a torn rotator cuff? And wouldn’t it be EVEN HARDER to swim with a newly repaired (formerly torn) rotator cuff that had required surgical intervention but had never been worked in rehab? 

Yes, people. Yes it would. (Not to mention the fact that were Manny actually swimming with a newly repaired non-rehabbed injury in the ocean he might,oh I don’t know, appear to be injured. This would leave him susceptible to shark attacks. IJS, I watch “Shark Week.” ūüėĀ) This feat was more irresponsible on the part of the Pac camp than that time when they encouraged his singing career. 

If one were a bit cynical (like me), one might attribute this sudden healing to another recent announcement made by none other than Bastard Bob Arum himself regarding a fight between Pacquaio and everyone’s favourite whiny Brit, Amir Khan. Per Arum, this fight would occur in 2016 in Dubai. Nice of them to throw a bone Khan’s way after Mayweather jerked him around so, but this should raise more than just a few eyebrows on the validity of Shouldergate as a whole.

Now, as a testament to my loyalty toward this blog (and because I got a really gross bruise from drunkenly walking into my bed frame about a week ago that I wanted to get rid of. It’s still shorts season.) I decided to conduct my own saltwater healing experiment.  I didn’t think to take a “Before” picture, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say the bruise was, indeed, really gross. Picture it completely filled in, reddish/purplish/blackish and puffy. 

And here’s the “After,” four days of daily, half-hour long Epsom salt soaks later (Excuse my super white skin):

  
So as you can see, saltwater DOES have some healing powers. Had I added prayer, this might have cleared up completely before my beach trip. But you all know what they say about hindsight. (Shoutout to Walgreen’s Epsom Salt, BTW. Incidentally, the back of the bag also lauds its effectiveness as an enema treatment, but I’m not that committed to this cause. Perhaps Manny can try it out after his next ass reaming by Mayweather, should that day ever come.)

Pacquaio just needs to come clean, admit that he lost the fight fair and square without some excuse about a made up shoulder injury, and let us all forget that this idiocy ever happened.  The dude is a legend in the ring and this crap is beneath him. It would be truly sad for this to be one of the final things to tarnish the legacy of an otherwise brilliant boxer and seemingly good person.  Be better, Manny. 
Been a little quiet lately but I’m still on Twitter, y’all!  @junk_n_trunx 

Review: Mayweather v Pacquiao

Seriously, you know you’ve been in Vegas for four days when you’re dying to eat a vegetable the second you get home.

The “Fight of the Century” has come and gone, and contrary to popular belief (or much to the dismay of some, depending on what side of the fence you’re on) boxing is, in fact, not dead. Rather, it’s been revitalized with new interest, even if that interest was purely in a superfight that failed to live up to it’s hype. ¬†And no matter your opinion on the actual fight itself (or the personal lives of the pugilists), you have to admit that it’s fun to get this wrapped up in something bigger than all of us; it makes the days exciting and (sometimes) the letdown afterward that much harder. But it¬†also reminds us how much fun it can be to live in a moment, if even only for a little while. Enough¬†with this sentimental stuff, though….

I WAS IN VEGAS, Y’ALL!!!

Not being a baller and all, I couldn’t afford tickets to the actual fight itself, but I was lucky enough to be able to attend the weigh in and an amazing closed circuit watch party (which turned out to be VIP for the price of a regular ticket, thanks to a mix up) and had the absolute time of my life.

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My wristband to get into the party. It was sparkly, and it guaranteed free drinks, so this     girl was happy. 

Surprisingly, I learned a lot while in Vegas. I learned that I’m terrible at Black Jack or Roulette, but awesome at War. I learned that when you’re in Vegas, Carl Froch can be innocently walking behind you for quite some time at the Grand and you won’t even realize it until someone yells his name. (I also learned that my fangirl tendencies aren’t limited to titles on this blog-sometimes I inadvertantly also yell “AAAAHHHH!!!!” after taking a picture with a famous boxer while running back to my husband. I like to play it cool.) And finally (possibly most important) I learned how crucial it is to carry a bag large enough to hold a pair of flip flops if you’re going all out on fight night. (You’re welcome, ladies. And men. I don’t judge.)

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These were the bane of my existence after about three hours

I could go on and on about how incredible Vegas is, but I know that ain’t what y’all came here for. On to the review!

Vasyl Lomachenko vs. Gamalier Rodriguez

This fight confirmed what most of us already thought would happen: simply put, that Rodriguez got his ass handed to him by Lomachenko in a bad, bad way. Although not unwilling to engage (mostly low blows, however), Rodriguez was just no match for the Olympian. After several calls for illegal hits (one of those being Lomachenko’s retaliation low blow), Rodriguez took two knees, with the final being in the ninth round where he stayed for the 10 count, ending in a KO for Lomachenko. ¬†At first glance, I thought that Rodriguez was just giving up, but after watching a couple of replays, it was easy to see that he was shaken and pretty hurt.

Despite this being a wholly one-sided fight, I was really impressed with Lomachenko’s performance (and his first name-if I ever have a kid {so, never} it’s name will be Vasyl. Boy or girl, I don’t care.) He’s still pretty early on in his career, and I’m really excited to see what the future will hold for him. I’m expecting greatness from this one, but I’m also horrible with my predictions so it can’t be held against me if I’m wrong.

Leo Santa Cruz vs. Jose Cayetano

Before I start in with this, I need y’all to know that I’m quite possibly (especially after this performance), the last remaining LSC fan in the greater United States. (Aside from any family or womens that LSC may have here, but that should go without saying.) And my well thought out, purely based on performance and style reasoning for liking LSC so much is this: he seems like a funny guy who enjoys his job and he wore a big cowboy hat after he fought here in San Antonio. Boom.

However; his performance on Saturday night was not his best, and I was actually very, very impressed with the heart and determination showcased by Cayetano in this fight. ¬†Cayetano was a late addition to the fight and wasn’t officially made an opponent until the end of April, giving him little time to prepare for a bout of this magnitude, especially since he still works two day jobs. (Again, LOTS of heart. I can’t even be bothered to go to the gym after working one job.) He was also coming off of a record of two previous losses in 10 round fights, so not the best setup, either. This had all the makings of a stepping stone fight that I daresay wasn’t as easy for LSC as we all thought it would have been. (In terms of going the distance, I mean.)

The fight went all 10 rounds and ended in a Unanimous Decision for LSC, but it was a fun 10 rounder to watch, IMO. ¬†As previously mentioned, Cayetano absolutely refused to quit, was moving around the ring well, and was a good little counterpuncher, too, at least for the first few rounds. LSC pretty much had him figured out by mid-fight. ¬†He also seemed to handle LSC’s blows (huh, huh) with relative ease.¬†¬†But in the end, LSC dominated the kid, although I’m not too sure what this says about him. It was an easy fight for LSC, as was the original intent (I’m sure), and I’d like to see better from him in the future.

But this is one of my favorite things about boxing. For all intents and purposes, they plucked a boxer out of nothingness, gave him a HUGE opportunity, and he made it worth his while. True, he didn’t show us absolute greatness or looming strength, but he went the distance and persisted during a fight billed to be the greatest of our time (well, my time anyway. Not sure how old the rest of y’all are ūüôā ), which had to have been an incredibly daunting task. Had this not happened, I’d know nothing of Cayetano, and now I’m looking forward to his next fight, whenever that may be. (Could be quite a while before he ends up on TV again, though, but still.)

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Seriously y’all, never in a million years did I think that I would be typing that (unless it ended with the phrase, “will never happen”), so just the fact that it occurred at all still has me amped, regardless of how one feels about the actual match. By this time, I’m relatively certain that most of the world knows how this fight ended, but if for some reason you haven’t yet heard (or you don’t want spoilers) stop reading now. (But come back later, I need¬†the “Views” on my stat count).

Also (disclaimer), I’m neither a Pactard nor a Flomo and thoroughly enjoy both fighters, so this will be an unbiased account of this fight (even though I’m sure that some of you will disagree. Kisses.)

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And for the Pac “Truthers,” here’s proof of the aforementioned statement. Yes, I bet with my heart and not my brain. My big baller $20 bet on Pac getting the KO over Mayweather.

Y’all, Floyd put on a boxing clinic on Saturday night, and it was both parts amazing and crushing¬†all at once. To see a boxer adapt to another fighter’s style so quickly and easily is truly the mark of greatness. This statement will not be backed by popular opinion (hell, this whole review probaby won’t), but Manny truly did give it his all, and he just couldn’t make it happen. It’s a tired cliche, but the greats make it look easy, and I think that Manny realized this after a few rounds with Floyd.

And as for the hotly contested “Floyd Ran, Floyd Hugged” debate, those of you who are saying that don’t know boxing. Period. Floyd threw and landed more punches than Manny, and more clinching went on during the Klitschko fight a couple of weeks ago (and really, every other recent Klitschko fight in recent years) than during this one. As for the running argument, Manny knew well in advance (assuming that he watched tape from Floyd’s last fights, which I would imagine that he did) that it would be VERY advantageous to him to cut off the ring in order to ensure that Floyd would have to go toe to toe with him (which was really the only way that he could win the fight in the first place) and he failed to do so.

This was Manny’s loss, fair and square. I hate to say it, because I truly do like the guy and enjoy his performances, but he simply was not the better boxer this time around. This had nothing to do with the ref or the judges, and everything to do with Manny being one-dimensional in this fight and not having a Plan B, something that would have been expected of an elite pugilist going into what was the biggest fight of his life.

Annnnnddd…on to “Shoulder Gate.” Of course, instead of just being able to say “I lost,” we get a story about Manny having a torn rotator cuff, which seems to be true the more it plays out. All fine and good, and I hope that Manny is able to heal well and continue to impress us after his surgery.

BUT

Why did this go completely unmentioned until after the fight was said and done? Yes, had Manny’s shoulder been unharmed, this could have impacted the fight in a way. However; there were plenty of opportunities for him to announce this injury, and it wasn’t even mentioned on the pre-fight questionnaire, a document that explicitly asks if the boxer currently has a shoulder injury. Also, according to Bleacher Report, the shoulder injury was the catalyst for impairing Manny to the extent that he was unable to spar for WEEKS leading up to the fight. Weeks, people. (And I ain’t talking Tony.)

I completely understand the hesitance to call off a super-giant-megafight that was a huge¬†pain in the butt to negotiate in the first place, (not to mention the on/off relationship of this fight to begin with) but really? If a boxer can’t throw punches because of a torn rotator cuff, what else is there to do? ¬†(I mean, I would have been pissed and all, but still.)

And then? This:

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Via a text to Stephen Smith, no less. That’s how I want to negotiate big deals. And is he just fighting the shoulder, or all of Manny? ¬†Because truly, it’s really only the shoulder that deserves a second chance.¬†

The circus starts all over again. Although probably not for as much money next time around. If this even happens, after all. It could take another six years.

In closing, for those of you who wanted an all out war (which, save an outstanding performance by Manny was never going to happen anyway), “Meet Mago.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/04/sports/meet-mago-former-heavyweight.html?_r=0

An outstanding NY Times article on Magomed Abdusalamov, a former heavyweight

These are the consequences of the brawls that the causal fans and the knockout salivaters seek. You can also look to Muhammed Ali and Freddie Roach for concrete examples of long-term boxing related injuries. As much as you may hate to admit it, boxing is just as much a sport of hitting and not being hit as it is anything else. The sweet science is the art of boxing, and what makes it equally as fun to watch as an all out brawl.

Long rant over. Be on the lookout for Canelo v Kirkland this Saturday, y’all, which should be a lot of fun. Also, HBO will be replaying the May v Pac fight prior to the broadcast of the Canelo fight, for anyone who would like a second view.

Stay safe, peeps. And thanks for hanging in there during the rant ūüôā

One Two Combo: Chisme and Review

I slacked. I meant to review the Brook vs. Dan, Charlo vs. Martirosyan, and Russell vs. Gonzalez fights earlier this week but……I didn’t. (Oops.) So here they are today with a Chisme article at the end.

Kell Brook vs. Jo Jo Dan

In honor of this being the first fight I’ve ever seen broadcast from England I decided at first to write this in the style of a Bridget Jones diary entry, but that turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated so y’all are stuck with the ugly American version. First and foremost, I (and I’m sure most of the world) was taken aback when I noticed that Michael Buffer was wearing glasses. ¬†In the five-ish years that I’ve been a boxing fan, I’ve never seen the man sport eyewear. And here’s further proof:

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(See? This picture was taken in 2014. NO GLASSES.) One can only assume that he was trying to look extra distinguished since he was in England. Or that he left his contacts at home.

Also noteworthy was the fact that the bell signaling the beginning and end of the rounds sounded different and more like an alarm than what I’ve become used to. But by far, my very favourite (see what I did there) difference between British and American live boxing was the announcer AND THE ENTIRE CROWD counting to ten after a boxer (let’s be real-after Dan) was knocked down. What a fun thing to do. And what an amazing idea for a drinking game. Next fight in England I see, I’m drinking for the duration of the counting. (Always good to have a plan, kids).

Now, on to the actual boxing. ¬†Dan was absolutely outclassed by Brook. ¬†It was almost as if it was a one-sided fight. At one point in the third round (I believe), one of the announcers described it as being akin to “target practice” for Brook, and I couldn’t agree more. Dan couldn’t handle Brooks straight right or his uppercut, and aside from the first round spent a fair amount of time wobbling on his legs or hugging the canvas. (And then he started in with a move that is not unlike something my dog does-he kept leading with his head. Weird). One of the lines in the notes I took for this post says,¬†“Has this guy won any rounds?” (Answer: Nope). The fourth round stoppage by Dan’s corner was a smart move, as he couldn’t have endured any more.

And then came Brook’s call out of Khan-Rios (WTF)-Marquez for a June fight, finally settling on a call out of Khan in what was one of the best uses of the English language ever, including pointing out Khan’s “delicate whiskers” and the fact that there is no viable opponent for a June 13th fight. Did Khan take the bait? See below in Chisme for more. (Cliffhanger…)

Jermell Charlo vs. Vanes Martirosyan

My favorite thing about Jermell Charlo is that his twin’s name is Jermall. And that they wore matching trunks (WITH THE TEXAS FLAG ON THEM!!) for this fight. Delightful. My favorite thing about Vanes “The Nightmare” Martirosyan is that his eyebrows live up to his boxing nickname. This was an excellent match up, all kidding aside. Although the pace wasn’t overly quick or exciting and it lacked any real stand out moments (aside from the “accidental clash of heads” in Round 8), it was an interesting and engaging fight nonetheless. I don’t agree with the decision being given to Charlo (which says a lot, y’all, since he’s a Texan), as I believe that Martirosyan won that fight, but it was a fun fight to watch and both boxers performed wonderfully. I’d love to see a rematch.

Russell vs. Gonzalez

This is probably going to be about as quick as the fight was. Russell performed immaculately in this bout, and totally outclassed Gonzalez. I’d only seen Russell fight once before this (against Lomachenko) and I was glad that more of his talent was showcased in this fight. Russell is lightning-quick and an extremelly intelligent fighter. I really enjoyed waching him work. Gonzalez was no match for him, and after three knockdowns the third and fourth round it was all over.

Nonito Donaire vs. That other guy

I didn’t actually watch this, becuase it wasn’t being broadcast in the US and I wasn’t anywhere near desperate enough to find it online to stream, but Donaire won in what was a two round shutout. There may be hope for the little guy yet.

Chisme

After offering a “winner takes all” sort of bout to Kell Brook (which he accepted) where, well, the winner would take all of the money and the loser would, um, lose, Amir Khan dodged even a Broner call out and decided to fight Chris fucking Algieri instead. For those of you who don’t know who Algieri is (which is probably all of you), he’s the guy who was gifted a win over Provodnikov (IMO) and then went on to taste the canvas during damn near every round against Pacquaio last winter. Ridiculous. As a result, I’ve officially renounced my fanship of Amir Khan. (But I haven’t unfollowed him on Instagram yet, because he takes really fun pictures). I’m not going to become the person who says “I’m so mad that I’m not watching this fight” because I will, but I refuse to enjoy it (which is really just a by-product of the matchup. Who besides Algieri’s brother and Khan’s family could actually enjoy this fight?!)

Floyd reported that he’s not going to trash talk Manny because he’s wiser now, but I’m pretty sure his dad will take care of all of that mess for him.

Manny is closing the gym to the public on April 15 because he needs to focus.

Ali allegedly picked Manny to win, but later stated that this isn’t true and he hasn’t actually made a prediction yet.

Floyd’s odds have reportedly shrunk to-180 at a Vegas sportsbook because some very rich dude placed two $50k bets on Manny. Two things I don’t understand about this: 1). How this whole betting thing works, and 2). Why wasn’t it reported as “Rich guy bets $100k on Manny” instead of “Two $50k bets.”

And that’s about it, y’all. No more slacking next time. And we’re getting closer and closer to the big day, so that’s something to keep you awake in anticipation about.

Gab: This Week in Boxing Ch-Ch-Ch-Chisme (3/23-3/27)

Disclaimer: I’m DWB (Drinking While Blogging) y’all, so this could get a little sloppy.

I need you all to know that in spite of the all of the May/Pac chaos going on, THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to me right now is that Amir Khan has called out Miguel Cotto. Miguel freaking Cotto. (At least there’s a fair chance that¬†Cotto won’t try to dodge this one, amIright?) ¬†Khan stated that he is eschewing (I do love that word) a fight with Kell Brook in favor of a bout with Cotto. ¬†Will it happen? Who knows. Maybe, if Khan can keep his mouth shut and refrain from taking¬†to Twitter to bitch about having to wait for a response. I think that this would be an easy fight for Cotto, honestly, which is why I’m predicting that he’ll take it. As much as I love Khan, I think that Cotto is stronger than him in a big way. Could make for a fun fight, though.

Nonito Donaire is fighting again this weekend in Manila as part of “Pinoy Pride 30” and to be honest, I’m not even sure it’s being shown in the US. It’s kind of sad, really. Dude is ESPN’s “Fighter of the Year” (and well deservedly so) in 2012, and then in 2013 gets his ass literally HANDED TO HIM by Rigondeaux (it’s in the outtakes-Rigo is like “here you go” and gives Nonito his {Nonito’s}¬†butt) and his career is pretty much over. (Save for like, one other fight {that he lost} but y’all get what I’m saying.) Don’t get me wrong-I really like Donaire and thought he could have done big things, but it just wasn’t in the cards. The lesson to be taken from this: if you decide to fuck with a Cuban, at least prepare yourself ahead of time. Watch a few fight tapes beforehand or something. (Although I think it would be pretty cool if Donaire got into the fight commentary biz. I would love to hear his perspective on things. And really, could he be worse than Max Kellerman?) At any rate, I’m hoping for a Donaire win tomorrow.

Audley Harrison announced his retirement and I didn’t even know who he was until that happened. That’s all. (Apparently he’s British, for all you Harry Potter fans).

Hey y’all! Freddie Roach is talking shit again! (Seriously, we should take a drink every time that happens). Freddie has recently alleged that Floyd Joy was knocked out for 10 clean seconds by none other than famed Zab Judah, whom he hired as a sparring partner in preparation for his fight against Manny. Judah is denying this, but he’s also being paid by the Mayweather camp, so who’s surprised? Judah is a hell of a fighter, so even though I’m not sure I believe the story about the knockout, he’s a good candidate to pin it on. Conversely, Manny’s legs are cramping (again), and they’re working to solve the problem (again-although this time with $1,800 massaging cream) I have¬†nothing clever to add to this.

In other Mayweather/Pac news: Kellerman thinks that Mayweather will win, Ronda Rousey things that Pacquaio will win, Khan thinks Floyd will win, Ludacris thinks that Floyd is focused, Hulk Hogan thinks it will be a draw, and yes, Bieber will be escorting Money May into the ring on the night of the big event. Bromances.

TMZ is reporting that the MGM Grand will be blocking all hotels aside from it’s 14 other properties in Vegas from showing May vs. Pac. In addition to the rumors this week that only 1,000 tickets for the fight are being released to the public, it’s looking more and more like “The People’s Fight” …um..isn’t the People’s Fight after all.

Kell Brook fights Jo Jo Dan (did anyone tell this guy that he has three first names and no last name) this Saturday. I could write a prediction article, but I’ll spare myself the embarrassment of being horribly incorrect on all of my predictions and will opt istead to write a review article after the fact. See y’all then.

Gab: This Week in Boxing Chisme

Amid all of the boxing headlines from this week, I would be remiss in not mentioning that time that Floyd Mayweather broke the Internet with this picture:

Pactards chided him for this, stating that taking¬†to the harsh¬†Nevada¬†wildnerness and doing some good old fashioned tree killing was a sign that he was intimidated by Manny. Flomos defended the champ, positing that this is a variation of a common boxing workout using a sledgehammer and a big ass tire. I’m aligned with most probable theory: that Floyd was doing this (and really every other aspect of his life) for attention. Who knows if this is the first time he’s done this and really, who cares? ¬†I’m actually more¬†upset that no one mentioned the fuzzy red ball on top of his TMT hat.

Also noteworthy this week is the mention that Floyd is refusing to agree to terms of a $5 million dollar fine for positive blood and urine¬†tests in the upcoming months preceding the May 2 fight, a clause¬†set forth by Pacquaio’s camp. This is kind of ironic, really, as it was Manny who initially refused the drug testing when the notion of the fight was first conceived six years ago (allegedly). This is also a contradictory move for Floyd, who has been kind of a pit bull for drug testing regulations. Both champs have reportedly already been tested recently, so I guess speculations could arise as to why he’s not agreed to a fine in the event of a positive result if he’s already complied with the testing. Of course, Bob Arum is doing what he does best in talking out of his ass¬†in regards to demanding more money for a positive drug result, but we’ll see how far that actually gets.

Ugh, y’all. While I’m all for charity and I like the idea of Mitt Romney being knocked out; really, was Vitali Klitschko busy that day? Now THAT would be a fight. (And, you know, politician on politician).

Gennady Golovkin still wants to fight Miguel Cotto, and Miguel Cotto (and possibly Freddie Roach) are still running scared. I think I speak for the majority when I say that this fight will probably never happen, although I would love to be wrong. If it ever¬†did happen, though, GGG would dominate Cotto (even in his new reincarnation as a “raging bull”) and with Cotto’s talk of impending retirement in the near future I doubt that’s how he’d like to go out.

Until next time, friends.