On Floyd Mayweather

I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: I’m a girl.

And I’m also a Mayweather fan. 

Although I’ve been informed in polite (and not so polite) company that the two should be mutually exclusive. In fact, one might actually be surprised at the boorish nature of complete strangers who, when the subject of Mayweather is mentioned, feel it necessary to remind me of my link to Eve. (Trust me, my monthly caller and massive collection of paper and cotton absorbent products in my bathroom cabinet are all the reminder I need. Shoutout to all of my male readers!)
But still the ugly truth remains that to most, I shouldn’t appreciate Floyd Mayweather Jr. in any way. Not as an athlete, a person, and certainly not as a man. Because the crime that he committed against a woman is the most reprehensible one that a man can commit aside from rape-he beat her. Badly, from what I’ve read. In front of their children no less. 

I’m not here to advocate on behalf of Floyd (not that he would need it, anyway), but I would like to discuss just how fatally flawed the “you can’t like Mayweather if you’re a girl” argument is. (The “I can like whoever I want, dammit” argument notwithstanding, of course. ) I feel it important to note at this point the obvious, which is that I’m more than capable of separating the actions of a man from the abilities of an athlete. Mayweather is the best at what he does at this time. He might not be the most interesting or exciting fighter, but he’s cornered the “hit and don’t be hit” market. The dude is a defensive genius, and he’s definitely mastered the mental chess aspect of the game.  Love him or hate him (both acceptable) he’s the pound for pound greatest of his time until he retires and a more talented boxer comes along. 

Now let’s deflect for a second here and turn our collective attentions to the NFL. It just so happens that a fortunate occurence, well, occurred in the middle of my writing this post. Namely, this meme popped up on my Facebook feed:

  
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a football fan as well. (College, that is.) As a matter of fact, I’m staying up way too late on game day to get this post published. But I think we can all agree that one need look no further than the NFL to find a rather large amalgamation of derelicts. For within that league  exists a veritable potpurri of offenders: women beaters, kid beaters, dog beaters, rapists, murderers, and ball deflaters (like I could let that last one go.)  

According to an article written by Tomas Barrabi, “NFL’s History of Domestic Violence Extends Beyond Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson Abuse Cases” (September, 2014), from the years spanning 1989-1994, 140 current and former professional or college football players were reported to police for violent acts against women.  And lawd, let’s not forget O.J. After the O.J. arrest in 1994, another study examined criminal background checks on 500 players at random, showing that 21% of them had a record for a serious crime, prominently domestic violence (Barrabi, 2014). 

Granted, 1994 was a loooooong time ago. But not much has changed since then. The same article posits that “Among the 713 arrests of NFL players from 2000-2014, 85 were related to domestic violence,” (Barrabi, 2014). (On a sidenote-713 arrests?! Holy shit! What are those boys doing?!) Regardless of your loyalty toward the sport, the statistics point to a very real problem within the league.  And the NFL’s response? Basically,”we picked these guys up from impoverished hoods! What would you expect from them?” Huh. Can’t remember the last silver spoon sucking, born into wealth boxer that came across my screen. (Kidding, it was Chavez Jr!) But for real, most fighters come from seedy, money-challenged backgrounds, as boxing has always been hailed as a poor man’s sport because it’s one of the cheapest to engage in. 

With all of this being said, why is it okay (encouraged, even) for women to appreciate professional football? Why are these women accepted and lauded while I, a self-proclaimed female Floyd fan, am basically told that I need to be better? After all, we buy the t-shirts and jerseys of men who have commited the same crimes, don’t we? So why is one accepted and the other not?

Oh, I know that Floyd is annoying. But so is Tom Brady with his perfect hair, Ray Rice with his Ray Rice-ness, Aaron Hernandez with his murder charge, and Michael Vick for being Michael Vick. (And don’t even get me started on Tim Tebow.) Just because one is louder and more obnoxious than the other doesn’t make his crime less equal. 

Even more disturbing is that as of 2011, one in three women have experienced “rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime,” (Black, Basile, Breiding, Smith, Walters, Merrick, Chen, & Stevens, 2011). Again, one in three. That’s a disturbingly small amount. In other words: if you have three sisters, three female family members, or three female friends in the same room, one of them has exprienced some form of domestic violence from someone that they trusted, be it a boyfriend, husband, or a hook up.  If we as women are strong enough to look past our own hardships and are able separate the bad from the good from the not applicable in a man and still appreciate their talents, let us. Don’t tell us that we need to be better.

 Indeed, for that we already are. 

Twitter: @junk_n_trunx

Facebook: Just look up “Junk in the Trunks”

Never though I’d need a reference section post grad school, but here it is:

Barrabi, Thomas (IBT Times.com, 2014). NFL’s History of Domestic Violence Extends Beyond Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson Abuse Cases. Retrieved from: http://www.ibtimes.com/nfls-history-domestic-violence-extends-beyond-ray-rice-adrian-peterson-abuse-cases-1692014.

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J. & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control, and Prevention.

Why Rousey vs. Mayweather Will Never Happen

In the words of the immortal Tone Loc, “let’s do this.”

Unless you’ve been hiding from Bleacher Report or Facebook for the past month, you’ve undoubtedly heard in some form or fashion about the “beef” that’s been occurring between Ronda Rousey and Floyd Mayweather. (“Beef” is in quotes, btw, because it really seems like this is just Ronda being an attention whore and that Floyd is metaphorically swatting away the annoying fly without truly being all that angered toward her.) I really want this to go away, but I’ve also found that I apparently have strong feelings about this that just won’t quit; and as the old saying goes: “Those who can do, those who can’t teach, and the rest blog.” Or something like that.

First of all, there is no way in hell that Floyd or Floyd’s people (read: Al Haymon) would ever allow him to do this. This would be a PR nightmare for all involved. It doesn’t require exceptional mental prowess to understand that pitting a man convicted of domestic violence against his ex-baby mama in a ring with the intent to fight a woman is a bad idea. Period. And even if all of the VIPs in Floyd’s camp (read: Al Haymon) suffered a giant lapse in judgment, there isn’t a sanctioning body in the nation that would allow this fight to occur, BECAUSE IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. (Not even Texas, which is saying a lot. Of course, if the potential bout was JCC Jr. or Canelo vs. Rousey, Texas would be all over it. And Jr. or Canelo would win before even arriving at the arena. That’s just how we roll down here).

If, hypothetically, this fight were agreed upon by all parties, magically obtained a sanctioning body, and was actually going to happen, the next roadblock would be figuring out what type of fight it would be: MMA vs. boxing.  Before I go any further, I’d like to take a second to recognize the legion of rhinestone studded Affliction t-shirt wearing masses who have leapt at the opportunity to point out that “Ronda would kick Floyd’s ass in an MMA fight!” You’re probably right. (Take a screenshot of this, folks, and save it forever as it’s more than likely the only time that I’ll acknowledge and/or agree with MMA fans.) But it doesn’t matter, because I guarantee that this would be a boxing match.  And here’s why:

Yes, Ronda has become a nationally (internationally?) recognized phenom in MMA. Rightfully so. This chick has worked her ass off and earned her place at the top. She’s a beast. But she’s no Mayweather. She lacks the star power, notoriety, (love him or hate him, you’re still watching his fights, and if you say that you aren’t, you’re lying. The same can’t be said for Rousey.)and most importantly the money (TMT shoutout!) that is associated with a Mayweather fight. This man generates millions upon millions of dollars in ticket sales alone, not even counting what he makes in PPV sales, merch sales, or money from “All Access.” And as we all know, the dollar always wins.  I’m not saying that there wouldn’t be a multitude of arguments and contract negotiations between the two camps, because there would be. But Floyd would win in the end, because if he didn’t get his way, he would walk. And the whole thing would be just another pipe dream. (Hopefully much like Margarito’s recent push to get back into the ring, which would definitely be sanctioned by Texas.)

I would say that weight class would be an issue, but more than likely they would just fight under an agreed upon catchweight (which fight fans just LOVE but would be a necessary evil in this case) with a rehydration clause. I just felt like I should address it because I wrote “Weight Class???” as a potential barrier in my notes.

All jest aside, though, there lies a much bigger and important issue at stake here: feminism-to an extent, anyway.  (Bye, male readers! Thanks for sticking around for the first half!) As I’ve previously mentioned, Rousey’s is a household name now, and her fame and accolades are certainly well deserved. She’s become a hero to young girls, which is something I find appropriate. As someone who isn’t even an MMA fan, I have a lot of respect for her because she’s become such a prominent figure in a male-driven sport, and I wholeheartedly agree that her status as a mentor is appropriate. With all of that being said, does she really want to encourage to the girls who idolize her the idea that it’s okay for a guy to hit you (because let’s be real, Floyd would get a few hits in) if you’re being paid for it? Because that’s kind of the message that she’s sending. 

There’s also the fact that she hangs out with Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist. Regardless of your feelings about Iron Mike, the fact remains that he WAS convicted and served time. Much like Floyd WAS convicted and served time for his wrongdoings as well. Both men have multiple crimes against women under their respective belts (no pun intended), and although these crimes differ in nature they are very much equals in that respect. Why, then, is there no call to arms against Mike circulating various social media platforms? Eye for an eye, right? At least, that seems to be the antequated notion she’s operating under.  Maybe because that fight just wouldn’t be as lucrative. 

At any rate, I truly do hope that this nonsense is over now.  Because a marriage between these two sports (even if only for a night) is a bastardization that I just can’t handle. After all, I don’t even own a Bedazzler. 

The Filipino Man and the Sea

*Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor and lack any degrees associated with the medical field. Which is a moot point in this case, because you don’t have to be an MD to know that this story is complete and utter bullshit.

For those of you who haven’t heard the latest and greatest in the saga of Manny and the torn rotator cuff, you’ll be happy to learn that he’s been fully healed. “But Jenna,” you might be saying “I heard/read/was told by my neighborhood Pactard that Manny was neglecting to go to rehab in LA. Did he go to rehab in the Phillippines instead?” And to you I say no, dear reader. To my knowledge, as of this day our favorite Filipino fighter remains with his feet steadfastly grounded on the subject of rehab. Because he’s got something better:

God and the ocean.

That’s right. Several boxing news sources revealed late last week that Pac-man himself reported his shoulder has been completely healed through prayer and swimming in the salty sea.  And the never ending supply of Yes Men in his camp have (of course) totally gone along with this nonsense, also attributing Pac’s miraculous turnaround to his faith and devotion to God and the healing properties of saltwater. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. 

Couple of problems with this, guys (and gals-no misogyny up in here): First of all (again, no medical background), wouldn’t it be extremely painful and difficult to breaststroke with a torn rotator cuff? And wouldn’t it be EVEN HARDER to swim with a newly repaired (formerly torn) rotator cuff that had required surgical intervention but had never been worked in rehab? 

Yes, people. Yes it would. (Not to mention the fact that were Manny actually swimming with a newly repaired non-rehabbed injury in the ocean he might,oh I don’t know, appear to be injured. This would leave him susceptible to shark attacks. IJS, I watch “Shark Week.” ūüėĀ) This feat was more irresponsible on the part of the Pac camp than that time when they encouraged his singing career. 

If one were a bit cynical (like me), one might attribute this sudden healing to another recent announcement made by none other than Bastard Bob Arum himself regarding a fight between Pacquaio and everyone’s favourite whiny Brit, Amir Khan. Per Arum, this fight would occur in 2016 in Dubai. Nice of them to throw a bone Khan’s way after Mayweather jerked him around so, but this should raise more than just a few eyebrows on the validity of Shouldergate as a whole.

Now, as a testament to my loyalty toward this blog (and because I got a really gross bruise from drunkenly walking into my bed frame about a week ago that I wanted to get rid of. It’s still shorts season.) I decided to conduct my own saltwater healing experiment.  I didn’t think to take a “Before” picture, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say the bruise was, indeed, really gross. Picture it completely filled in, reddish/purplish/blackish and puffy. 

And here’s the “After,” four days of daily, half-hour long Epsom salt soaks later (Excuse my super white skin):

  
So as you can see, saltwater DOES have some healing powers. Had I added prayer, this might have cleared up completely before my beach trip. But you all know what they say about hindsight. (Shoutout to Walgreen’s Epsom Salt, BTW. Incidentally, the back of the bag also lauds its effectiveness as an enema treatment, but I’m not that committed to this cause. Perhaps Manny can try it out after his next ass reaming by Mayweather, should that day ever come.)

Pacquaio just needs to come clean, admit that he lost the fight fair and square without some excuse about a made up shoulder injury, and let us all forget that this idiocy ever happened.  The dude is a legend in the ring and this crap is beneath him. It would be truly sad for this to be one of the final things to tarnish the legacy of an otherwise brilliant boxer and seemingly good person.  Be better, Manny. 
Been a little quiet lately but I’m still on Twitter, y’all!  @junk_n_trunx 

One Two Combo: Chisme and Review

I slacked. I meant to review the Brook vs. Dan, Charlo vs. Martirosyan, and Russell vs. Gonzalez fights earlier this week but……I didn’t. (Oops.) So here they are today with a Chisme article at the end.

Kell Brook vs. Jo Jo Dan

In honor of this being the first fight I’ve ever seen broadcast from England I decided at first to write this in the style of a Bridget Jones diary entry, but that turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated so y’all are stuck with the ugly American version. First and foremost, I (and I’m sure most of the world) was taken aback when I noticed that Michael Buffer was wearing glasses. ¬†In the five-ish years that I’ve been a boxing fan, I’ve never seen the man sport eyewear. And here’s further proof:

IMG_0233

(See? This picture was taken in 2014. NO GLASSES.) One can only assume that he was trying to look extra distinguished since he was in England. Or that he left his contacts at home.

Also noteworthy was the fact that the bell signaling the beginning and end of the rounds sounded different and more like an alarm than what I’ve become used to. But by far, my very favourite (see what I did there) difference between British and American live boxing was the announcer AND THE ENTIRE CROWD counting to ten after a boxer (let’s be real-after Dan) was knocked down. What a fun thing to do. And what an amazing idea for a drinking game. Next fight in England I see, I’m drinking for the duration of the counting. (Always good to have a plan, kids).

Now, on to the actual boxing. ¬†Dan was absolutely outclassed by Brook. ¬†It was almost as if it was a one-sided fight. At one point in the third round (I believe), one of the announcers described it as being akin to “target practice” for Brook, and I couldn’t agree more. Dan couldn’t handle Brooks straight right or his uppercut, and aside from the first round spent a fair amount of time wobbling on his legs or hugging the canvas. (And then he started in with a move that is not unlike something my dog does-he kept leading with his head. Weird). One of the lines in the notes I took for this post says,¬†“Has this guy won any rounds?” (Answer: Nope). The fourth round stoppage by Dan’s corner was a smart move, as he couldn’t have endured any more.

And then came Brook’s call out of Khan-Rios (WTF)-Marquez for a June fight, finally settling on a call out of Khan in what was one of the best uses of the English language ever, including pointing out Khan’s “delicate whiskers” and the fact that there is no viable opponent for a June 13th fight. Did Khan take the bait? See below in Chisme for more. (Cliffhanger…)

Jermell Charlo vs. Vanes Martirosyan

My favorite thing about Jermell Charlo is that his twin’s name is Jermall. And that they wore matching trunks (WITH THE TEXAS FLAG ON THEM!!) for this fight. Delightful. My favorite thing about Vanes “The Nightmare” Martirosyan is that his eyebrows live up to his boxing nickname. This was an excellent match up, all kidding aside. Although the pace wasn’t overly quick or exciting and it lacked any real stand out moments (aside from the “accidental clash of heads” in Round 8), it was an interesting and engaging fight nonetheless. I don’t agree with the decision being given to Charlo (which says a lot, y’all, since he’s a Texan), as I believe that Martirosyan won that fight, but it was a fun fight to watch and both boxers performed wonderfully. I’d love to see a rematch.

Russell vs. Gonzalez

This is probably going to be about as quick as the fight was. Russell performed immaculately in this bout, and totally outclassed Gonzalez. I’d only seen Russell fight once before this (against Lomachenko) and I was glad that more of his talent was showcased in this fight. Russell is lightning-quick and an extremelly intelligent fighter. I really enjoyed waching him work. Gonzalez was no match for him, and after three knockdowns the third and fourth round it was all over.

Nonito Donaire vs. That other guy

I didn’t actually watch this, becuase it wasn’t being broadcast in the US and I wasn’t anywhere near desperate enough to find it online to stream, but Donaire won in what was a two round shutout. There may be hope for the little guy yet.

Chisme

After offering a “winner takes all” sort of bout to Kell Brook (which he accepted) where, well, the winner would take all of the money and the loser would, um, lose, Amir Khan dodged even a Broner call out and decided to fight Chris fucking Algieri instead. For those of you who don’t know who Algieri is (which is probably all of you), he’s the guy who was gifted a win over Provodnikov (IMO) and then went on to taste the canvas during damn near every round against Pacquaio last winter. Ridiculous. As a result, I’ve officially renounced my fanship of Amir Khan. (But I haven’t unfollowed him on Instagram yet, because he takes really fun pictures). I’m not going to become the person who says “I’m so mad that I’m not watching this fight” because I will, but I refuse to enjoy it (which is really just a by-product of the matchup. Who besides Algieri’s brother and Khan’s family could actually enjoy this fight?!)

Floyd reported that he’s not going to trash talk Manny because he’s wiser now, but I’m pretty sure his dad will take care of all of that mess for him.

Manny is closing the gym to the public on April 15 because he needs to focus.

Ali allegedly picked Manny to win, but later stated that this isn’t true and he hasn’t actually made a prediction yet.

Floyd’s odds have reportedly shrunk to-180 at a Vegas sportsbook because some very rich dude placed two $50k bets on Manny. Two things I don’t understand about this: 1). How this whole betting thing works, and 2). Why wasn’t it reported as “Rich guy bets $100k on Manny” instead of “Two $50k bets.”

And that’s about it, y’all. No more slacking next time. And we’re getting closer and closer to the big day, so that’s something to keep you awake in anticipation about.

Gab: This Week in Boxing Chisme

Amid all of the boxing headlines from this week, I would be remiss in not mentioning that time that Floyd Mayweather broke the Internet with this picture: IMG_0214

Pactards chided him for this, stating that taking¬†to the harsh¬†Nevada¬†wildnerness and doing some good old fashioned tree killing was a sign that he was intimidated by Manny. Flomos defended the champ, positing that this is a variation of a common boxing workout using a sledgehammer and a big ass tire. I’m aligned with most probable theory: that Floyd was doing this (and really every other aspect of his life) for attention. Who knows if this is the first time he’s done this and really, who cares? ¬†I’m actually more¬†upset that no one mentioned the fuzzy red ball on top of his TMT hat.

Also noteworthy this week is the mention that Floyd is refusing to agree to terms of a $5 million dollar fine for positive blood and urine¬†tests in the upcoming months preceding the May 2 fight, a clause¬†set forth by Pacquaio’s camp. This is kind of ironic, really, as it was Manny who initially refused the drug testing when the notion of the fight was first conceived six years ago (allegedly). This is also a contradictory move for Floyd, who has been kind of a pit bull for drug testing regulations. Both champs have reportedly already been tested recently, so I guess speculations could arise as to why he’s not agreed to a fine in the event of a positive result if he’s already complied with the testing. Of course, Bob Arum is doing what he does best in talking out of his ass¬†in regards to demanding more money for a positive drug result, but we’ll see how far that actually gets.

“Ugh, y’all”. That’s what I have to say about this nonsense: IMG_0215

While I’m all for charity and I like the idea of Mitt Romney being knocked out; really, was Vitali Klitschko busy that day? Now THAT would be a fight. (And, you know, politician on politician).

Gennady Golovkin still wants to fight Miguel Cotto, and Miguel Cotto (and possibly Freddie Roach) are still running scared. I think I speak for the majority when I say that this fight will probably never happen, although I would love to be wrong. If it ever¬†did happen, though, GGG would dominate Cotto (even in his new reincarnation as a “raging bull”) and with Cotto’s talk of impending retirement in the near future I doubt that’s how he’d like to go out.

Until next time, friends.